Laugh out loud with our clean, family-friendly funny jokes. Have fun anytime.

In need of a good laugh? Check out this list of jokes to help brighten your day. Prepare to get laughing with these short and witty one-liners.

Funny Jokes for Adults:

• Why do skeletons not fight with one another? They don’t have the guts.
• I informed my wife that she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She was surprised.
• I used to play piano by ear, but now I play with my hands.
• Why do some couples not visit the gym? Because some relationships do not work.
• I cannot believe that I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
• Parallel lines share so much. Too bad they’ll never intersect.
• My friend claims he’s the king of the world. I told him, “Yeah, right, you’re the king of your own couch.”
• I asked the librarian whether the library had any books on paranoia. She leaned in and whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
• I explained to my wife that she was too emotional when we were arguing. She didn’t talk to me for a week.
• Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
• I attempted to catch some fog yesterday. I mist.
• I once worked as a baker, but couldn’t make enough dough.
• I went out to purchase some camo pants yesterday, but couldn’t find any.
• The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a veteran now.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
• I instructed my computer that I was in need of a break, and now it refuses to desist from informing me about holiday packages.
• I am not being contentious, merely outlining the reason why I am correct.
• I could not determine why I had been dismissed from my position as a bank cashier. It was because I simply could not manage the deposits.
• I was not initially planning to receive a brain transplant, but then I did reconsider.
• I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts.

Funny Jokes for Kids:

• Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
• What is a pretend noodle? An impasta!
• Why do eggs not tell jokes? Because they may crack up!
• What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
• Why can’t you offer Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go!
• What is brown and sticky? A stick.
• What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room.
• Why did the student consume his homework? Because his instructor instructed him it was a piece of cake!
• What do you get when you put a vampire and a snowman together? Frostbite!
• What do cows like to do on the weekends? Go to the movies!
• What did one wall say to another? “I’ll meet you at the corner.”
• Why did the banana go to the physician? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
• What do you say cheese is that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
• Why did the computer visit the doctor? It had a virus!
• What do you have when you mix a duck and a pirate?
• A quack-erjack!
• What do you name a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
• What did the frog say when he heard a joke? “That’s ribbit-ing!”
• What type of dog has a magician? A labra-cadabra-dor!
• How do you get a tissue to dance? You put a little boogey in it!
• Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels!

Actually Funny Jokes:

• Why won’t skeletons get along with each other? Because they don’t have the guts.
• I explained to my wife that she was raising her eyebrows too high. She was surprised.
• I played piano by ear, but nowadays I play it with my hands.
• Why wouldn’t some people go to the gym? Some relationships don’t work out.
• I couldn’t believe I lost my job at the calendar factory. All I did was miss a day off.
• Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a pity they’ll never meet.
• My friend boasts that he’s the king of the world. I replied, “Yeah, right, you’re the king of your own couch.”
• I inquired of the librarian whether the library contained books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
• I informed my wife she was getting too emotional during our fights. She didn’t talk to me for a week.
• Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
• I attempted to catch some fog yesterday. I mist.
• I was once a baker, but couldn’t make enough dough.
• I went out to purchase some camo pants yesterday, but couldn’t locate any.
• The guy who lived through both mustard gas and pepper spray is an old veteran now.
• I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
• I told my computer I wanted a break, and now it refuses to leave me alone with ads for vacation packages.
• I’m not yelling, I’m just telling you why I’m correct.
• I couldn’t understand why I lost my job as a bank teller. It was because I just couldn’t make the deposits.
• I wasn’t planning on getting a brain transplant in the first place, but then I decided otherwise.
• I considered doing an all-almond diet. But that’s just crazy.

Funny Jokes for Kids (8-9):

• Why can’t eggs joke? Because they could crack up!
• What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
• Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go!
• What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
• What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room.
• Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!
• What happens when you get a vampire and a snowman together? Frostbite!
• What do cows want to do on the weekends? Go to the moo-vies!
• What did the one wall tell the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner.”
• Why did the banana go to see the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
• What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you? Nacho cheese!
• Why did the computer go see the doctor? Because it had a virus!
• Why did the bull sleep? Because he was a bulldozer.
• What did the frog say when he heard a joke? “That’s ribbit-ing!”
• What type of dog does a magician own? A labra-cadabra-dor!
• How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogey in it!
• Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels!
• Why did the teddy bear refuse dessert? Because he was already stuffed!
• What do you name a dinosaur with a very big vocabulary? A thesaurus!
• Why did the scarecrow receive an award? Because he was exceptional in his field!

Funny Jokes Dirty (Mild):

• I’ve begun making investments in stocks. chicken stocks.
• Why don’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
• I was a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
• Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He wanted to go to high school.
• I said to my wife, “You’re drawing your eyebrows too high.” She looked surprised.
• I don’t trust stairs. they’re always up to something.
• Why don’t you ever catch hippos hiding in trees? Because they’re excellent at it.
• I purchased a belt the other day. It was a waist of money.
• What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just gave a little wine.
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
• I was once a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
• What did one sock say to the other? “I’m feeling pretty down today.”
• What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
• Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
• I couldn’t understand why I got fired from my job as a bank teller. It was because I couldn’t make enough deposits.
• Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
• I went into a room and forgot what I was doing there. Now I simply have to remember to leave before I do.
• I once made a joke involving a pencil, but it had no point.
• Why do some relationships not go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
• I considered going on an all-almond diet, but that’s just nuts!

Seriously Funny Jokes:

• I played piano by ear, but now I play with my hands.
• Why don’t couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work.
• I can’t believe I was fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
• Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
• I tried to catch some fog yesterday. I mist.
• I had gone out to purchase camo pants the day before, but was unable to find them.
• The man who lived through both mustard gas and pepper spray is a old vet now.
• I’m currently reading a book on anti-gravity. It can’t be put down.
• I informed my computer that I wanted a break, and now it won’t quit sending me messages for holiday packages.
• I couldn’t understand why I was fired from being a bank teller. It was because I simply couldn’t make the deposits.
• I wasn’t initially going to receive a brain transplant, but then I had second thoughts.
• I considered attempting an all-almond diet. But that’s simply nuts.
• I entered a room and forgot what I came for. Now I just need to remember to leave before it comes back to me.
• I was hooked on hokey pokey, but I managed to turn myself around.
• I was once a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
• I saw a sign that read “Watch for children,” and I thought, “That sounds like a reasonable exchange.”
• I attempted to consume a clock the other day. It took a long time.
• I couldn’t understand why I was receiving awful Wi-Fi in the kitchen. It turned out that the microwave was disrupting the signal.
• I reset my password to “incorrect.” Then, if I forget it, the computer will inform me, “Your password is incorrect.”
• I received a reversible jacket for my birthday. I am eagerly waiting to see how it would look.

Funny Jokes

• Why don’t skeletons get along? They don’t have the guts!
• I said to my wife, “You’re drawing your eyebrows too high.” She looked surprised!
• I used to play the piano by ear, but now I play with my hands.
• Why don’t eggs make jokes? Because they may crack up!
• I attempted to catch some fog yesterday. I mist.
• Why can’t you trust stairs? They’re always up to something!
• I informed my computer that I was in need of a break, and now it refuses to stop sending me ads for holiday packages.
• I didn’t know why I was fired from the calendar factory job. I just took a day off!
• I went into a room and forgot what I was there for. Now I just need to make sure to leave before I remember.
• What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
• I couldn’t go to the gym today, but I’ve been doing my abs. of steel. from all the pizza I’ve been consuming.
• I attempted to eat a clock the other day. It was very time-consuming.
• What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
• Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
• Why don’t you ever hear about hippos hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
• I purchased a belt the other day. It was a waist of money.
• What is the result of crossbreeding a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
• I was once a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
• What did one wall say to another? “I’ll meet you at the corner.”
• I informed my wife that she was getting too emotional in our fights. She spoke to me not a word for one week.

100 Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends:

• Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
• I told my wife, “You’re drawing your eyebrows too high.” She was shocked.
• I used to play the piano by ear, but now I play with my hands.
• Why don’t some individuals go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
• I don’t think I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
• Parallel lines are that close. Shame they will never intersect.
• My friend claims he is the king of the world. I said to him, “Yeah, right, king of your own couch.”
• I inquired with the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She said to me, “They’re right behind you.”
• I told my wife she was too emotional in our arguments. She did not speak to me for a week.
• Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
• I tried to shoot some fog yesterday. I mist.
• I used to be a baker, but couldn’t make enough dough.
• I went to buy some camo pants yesterday, but couldn’t find any.
• The guy who lived through both mustard gas and pepper spray is now a vet.
• I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
• I told my computer to rest, and now it won’t leave me in peace with advertisements for vacation packages.
• I’m not arguing, I’m just saying why I’m right.
• I didn’t know why I was fired from my job at the bank as a teller. It was because I just couldn’t get the deposits made.
• I wasn’t even going to have a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
• I thought about an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts.
• What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
• Why don’t skeletons ever fight? They don’t have the guts!
• I went to the zoo the other day. All they had was one little dog. It was a shih tzu.
• Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything!
• What did one plate say to the other? “Lunch is on me.”
• I told my wife that she was getting too emotional during our arguments. She didn’t speak to me for a week.
• Why don’t some couples visit the gym? Because some relationships don’t pan out.
• How to best view a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
• What is brown and sticky? A stick.
• I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He remained silent.
• What’s green and sings? Elvis Parsley!
• I don’t trust stairs.they’re always up to something.
• Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
• What did one sock say to the other? “I’m feeling pretty down today.”
• I bought a belt the other day. It was a waist of money.
• I didn’t want to think my dad was stealing from being a traffic cop.but when I got home, it was plain to see.
• You seed a space party. Or how do you get one scheduled?
• I was soapsuds crazy, but I’m washed clean now.
• I’ve got an anti-gravity book. I just can’t put it down.
• I made a pencil joke once, but it didn’t have a point.

Conclusion: Funny Jokes

laughing really is the best medicine! Whether sharing jokes with the family or hanging out with your friends, enjoying a moment by yourself, a good laugh brightens up the day and lightens the atmosphere.

So go ahead, pass on these humorous jokes and bring some cheer because sometimes, all it takes is a good punchline to make things better!

FAQS: Funny Jokes